


It'd be a good story (if you came back as the underdog)

by Sylvalum



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: M/M, Past Relationship(s), Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-09 08:50:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20850725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sylvalum/pseuds/Sylvalum
Summary: When the tabloids say Tony Stark and Janet van Dyne have broken up Steve has to take a whole little minute to make himself feel bad for his two friends instead of possessively, jealously glad, because no matter what people say Steve is not an altogether good person. He’s got faults and flaws and he makes mistakes.And hewants.





	It'd be a good story (if you came back as the underdog)

**Author's Note:**

> -So in here there's one discussion about things in the current Iron Man run and some mentions of hickmanvengers, but not any in-depth stuff.  
-Title from 'underdog' by Banks because I can't get that song out of my head.

The Avengers are a thing again, and with it comes seeing Tony on nearly a daily basis again.

Steve’s missed him, so at first it’s good, good knowing Tony is around and being able to talk to him face to face. But then  _ other _ things start returning too, like the way Steve watches Tony’s mouth as he talks and only later processes what he says, and how Steve can’t help himself and just keeps touching him, on his shoulder, hand, pats on his back. Handing him things.

It’s that dreadful longing Steve has been trying to get rid of.

And anyway, Tony is in a relationship with someone else already, someone who Steve happens to like and respect. 

Until he isn’t. When the tabloids say Tony Stark and Janet van Dyne have broken up Steve has to take a whole little minute to make himself feel bad for his two friends instead of possessively, jealously glad, because no matter what people say Steve is not an altogether good person. He’s got faults and flaws and he makes mistakes.

And he  _ wants. _

* * *

There’s a time after that when they both were hanging around in the Mountain without a task, so then they went to Steve’s room. Put on an old favourite movie of theirs, made some popcorn. And they’re hanging out, it’s great, it’s just like old times, and then Tony says that _he_ _doesn’t have a soul._ He sneaks up on the topic through several other, lesser topics as he usually does, so that when it finally comes up Steve’s already suspecting that something’s wrong.

“Why do you think that?” Steve asks, to begin with.

“Because I’m in a new body, and my mind’s just a rebooted copy?” Tony turns away, leans forward like that’s going to convince Steve that he’s intently looking at the TV screen. “There’s no part of me that’s really Tony Stark anymore. I - I’m missing memories, and this body - I’ve had it for what, a few months? It’s just not-”

“It’s yours,” Steve interjects. “And I know you, Tony, and you’re still  _ you.  _ None of us have all the parts we’re born with left, no one. A new body doesn’t mean that you aren’t still you.”

“But my mind’s just a copy too.” Tony’s still looking at his knees, not meeting Steve’s eyes.

“Does it matter?” Steve asks. “So what if your mind is a copy? It’s still  _ your  _ mind. It’s not like it’s anybody  _ else’s _ mind, right?”

“Right.”

Steve gentles his voice and says, “OK, so you’re not the same person as ten years ago. Neither am I. Neither is anyone on the team, I’ll bet. That’s just life, Tony.”

Tony looks him in the eye, finally, and says, “I guess so.”

Relieved, Steve pats him on the shoulder and smiles at him. “Yeah.”

And Tony smiles back, a little, says, “Alright.” and Steve’s smile only brightens at that, because he got this right. Got something right, for once. Made Tony feel a little better.

* * *

Tony’s gotten rid of his beard, just a moustache now, and it reminds Steve of old times. It reminds him of how much he’d like to kiss him and find out how that feels up close.

They’ve kissed before. It’s all crystal clear in Steve’s perfect memory, the feel of Tony’s breath on his face and his facial hair and the way he’d touched Steve’s lips with his oil-stained fingertips after, that first time, so softly, just a brush, really.

How he’d lean into Steve’s touch every time.

(How he’d taken Steve’s memories and how he’d lied to his face, acted like everything was fine, acted for weeks and told him that it was just nightmares, nothing to worry about,  _ honey-) _

How he’d looked at him when Steve had broken his nose.

It was a long time ago.

* * *

They’re out in a city looking for the person who their intel has identified as the new Starbrand, stopping at bars and cafés and restaurants for rumours, and in one of the places there’s a lady who leans in close and flirts with Tony, and Tony turns toward her and looks up at her through his lashes and his voice goes just a little lower, a little softer, when he answers.

Steve doesn’t look at them, tunes out Robbie’s teasing comment about them, and reminds himself that everything he’s unsatisfied with in his and Tony’s relationship is entirely his own fault.

Steve has no right to feel jealous.

It’s inappropriate and unwanted and he has absolutely no right to feel possessive.  _ None. _

If he ever somehow pressured Tony into not flirting with someone - god, Steve isn’t ever going to do that. He’s scary and pushy enough without intentionally acting like an asshole, and Steve would happily be the best man at Tony’s wedding as he marries someone else than ever pressuring Tony like _ that. _

Still, when they’re all forced to leave the café a few minutes later because Carol’s found something elsewhere, Steve can’t help the horrible part of him that feels relieved to see Tony leave the lady behind without even giving her his number.

* * *

Sometimes when Steve looks away from watching Tony he can feel Tony’s eyes slide over him, watching  _ him, _ and Steve knows that Tony knows. Maybe not all of it. Probably not. But he must know that  _ something’s _ up; Tony’s a genius and he’s never let any of them forget it either, of course he must have noticed something.

Years ago, it used to be Tony sneaking glances at Steve instead. (And Steve used to pretend he didn’t notice them at first, just so he could keep Tony’s eyes on him longer)

Their one single constant is how they orbit around each other, how they always work so beautifully in the field. Whether Captain America and Iron Man are fighting back to back or trying to take each other down doesn’t matter - they always fight like it’s the one thing they’re meant to do, knows each other’s every move as well as their own. Almost knows what the other thinks, if Steve lets himself feel particularly romantic when he thinks about that.

With every new team where they get to stand next to each other, Steve remembers that again. That thing he’s always looking for, that thing he’s always restarting the Avengers for to find.

* * *

Starting up the Avengers again is easy.

Superheroes are always drawn to each other, to someone who  _ gets it, _ someone to help them take down the big threat of today. And there was a disaster to unite them again this time, for them all to fight against together. 

There will never be a disaster that would make Tony consider Steve as date-worthy material for a second time, though. Honestly, Steve ought to just be grateful that Tony still considers him trustworthy at all, in any way or form, after the whole Hydra look-alike deal which Steve has already resolved to finally stop thinking about.

It’s over and done with.

Just like his and Tony’s attempt at romance, years ago. 

Steve loves Tony far too much to fuck it up by trying to start something now, or pressuring him into something by making the first move. Better no moves at all. Better that Steve tries and fails to start something with Sharon again, tries and fails to ignore that little flame of desire within him that refuses to die, that flares up every time Tony grins at him.

He’ll ignore it forever rather than risking hurting Tony.

* * *

They talk a lot, nowadays, like they used to back when things were really good. If they see each other in the corridor then there’s almost always a conversation following that, about whatever topic is at hand, work or the Avengers or gossip. 

As one of their many such conversations comes to an end, the hour starting to get late, Steve says, “Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

And Tony says, “Yeah,” and then doesn’t move, just looks at Steve like he’s waiting for something, stays there like that for a long moment in which Steve’s gaze flicks down to his lips once, twice. And Steve waits, too, for that something- that  _ change, _ for the tension to seep back out of the air so that he can turn around and walk back to his room and his bed and his solitude.

Then finally Tony says, “Goodnight.”

“You too,” Steve says to that, feeling almost disappointed, and leaves.

* * *

They have a disagreement about how to handle their relations with Atlantis and also Namor, specifically, which ends only because T’Challa tells them to be quiet so that he can finish the meeting. And when the others have left the hall Black Panther stands in the doorway and looks at them, where Steve and Tony are still sitting in their respective chairs at the table with their arms crossed, and he says, “By all means, carry on your argument. But do not bring it up again at another Avengers’ briefing.”

“Sure thing,” Tony replies cheerily, and T’Challa slowly leaves the room. Then Tony gets up from his chair and snaps, “So we can still argue Avengers business just fine, is that so?”

“Apparently,” Steve agrees.

“Then why - if you have no problem telling me my opinions on Namor are shit to my face - do you keep treating me like I’m fragile?” He stalks around the table as he speaks, stops in front of Steve’s chair to glare down at him.

“When have I done that?” Steve counters.

“You keep looking at me like you’ve got something to say,” Tony says. “So  _ say it.” _

“I keep ‘looking at you’?” Steve says, calmly, in no way showing how his heartbeat kicked up a pace at that. This is the terrible moment when  _ something _ happens, this is where and when Steve’s going to ruin it all in some way, some way or another.

“You know what I mean,” Tony says, looking down at him. “You  _ know _ what I mean. Whatever it is, just spit it out and be done with it. I can take it.”

Steve says, as a last attempt, “It’s not a big deal.”

“Steve, what is it?”

“You remember,” Steve begins, then, starting slowly, practically feeling their newly repaired friendship growing more strained with each word. “A few years ago? When we tried… dating each other?”

“You call that ‘dating’?” Tony asks, his eyes steel blue and inscrutable.

Steve shrugs one-shouldered, trying not to feel hurt. Not at all. “I’ve been thinking about that again, lately. A lot.”

Tony doesn’t say anything for a moment after that, and Steve counts every painful heartbeat in that silence. Then Tony says, “Really?”

“Really,” Steve says. Isn’t Tony the one who always called him painfully honest?

“Steve, that really wasn’t… a very good relationship.”

“Maybe not,” Steve admits. Not in the end at least, when Tony had started lying. When Steve found out and broke his nose. “I-”

Tony looks at him, says patiently, “Yes?”

“I… keep thinking that we should give it another try.” He swallows, his throat dry. “Only if you want to,” he adds fervently, looking down at his feet.  _ “Only _ if you want to. No pressure. I’ve just been having some stupid daydreams, it’s nothing really…”

“Hey no,” Tony says, and crouches down, tries to catch Steve’s eye. “It’s not ‘stupid’. If you’d want to-”

“Tony,  _ don’t.” _ Steve says. “You don’t have to say that, it’s nothing-”

“And if I want to?”

Steve looks up.

“We could give it another chance,” Tony says. “C’mon. I’ve done far dumber things with you before.” He grins a little in that way Steve can’t resist, and Steve takes a deep breath.

“Really?” he asks. “You’re sure?”

Tony leans up and kisses him, takes one of Steve’s hands and moves it to his hip and lets him hold onto him, and alright. Alright.

Steve pulls Tony down onto his lap, deepens the kiss and closes his eyes.


End file.
